rambling, nonsensical post warning!

i don't spend much time on deviantART...i haven't submitted anything in such a long time.

this is because i sort of did the same thing with my art. i pushed it aside in order to pursue a career mathematics. i didn't have time for it anymore, so i pushed everything art away from me so that i wouldn't get homesick for it. i tried to ignore it all so that i could focus on numbers and calculations instead.

this almost drove me insane.

i felt as though i had betrayed a part of myself, and i felt half empty...each day i died a little more inside because i wasn't doing anything creative at all. i became frustrated with mostly everything, and basically, came to a mental standstill. i felt that i was doomed to wonder the planet unhappy, partially empty and unsatisfied with my life. i thought that as long as i had a stable career, i would be able to fill it with things that would distract me from my longing for art.

i completely realize now how dumb i have been.

i am going to stay faithful to my current obligations, but after they are fulfilled, i am abandoning mathematics.

i am returning to art.

and i am finally happy. i fell as though a giant weight has been lifted from my shoulders. i feel light, free...i want to fly.

i am currently taking an art class at my college, and it is one of my favorite things that i am doing right now. it really makes me happy.

awesome